Humour


TAPE



RIBBONS



"Nothing is too good for the Canadian Forces.... And that is exactly what you are going to get."


-Anon. soldier


SIGN


The following would be the reaction of different types of Canadian soldiers upon encountering a snake in a theatre of operations:


Paratrooper: Kills the snake.

Armor: Runs over the snake, giggles and looks for more snakes.

Infantry (RCR): "Look a putty cat. Come here kitty. Ouch! Hey thats not a kitty cat."

Infantry (R 22e R) "Tabarnack! Me see snake. Me like snake. Ouch! Me no like snake".

Infantry (PPCLI): Plays with the snake, then eats it.

Artillery: Kills the snake, but in the process, obliterates 20 square kilometers with a massive time-on-target with three artillery brigades in support. Mission is considered a success, and all participants are awarded Orders of Military Merit (including cooks, mechanics, clerks, etc.)

Pararescue: Wounds the snake in the first encounter, then feverishly works to save the snake's life.

JTF 2:Expends all ammunition and several grenades and calls for a tactical airstrike in a failed attempt to kill the snake. Snake bites the JTF 2 Commander and retreats to safety.

Air Force Combat Controller: Guides the snake elsewhere.

Canadian Ranger: Follows the snake and gets lost.

Sea King Pilot: Has GPS grid to snake. Can't find snake. Has engine failure and barely makes it back to base. Goes to the Officer's Mess for some sort of drink called "The Snake."

Military Intelligence: "Snake? What? Where? Huh?"

Military Police: Arrests the snake, then spends two hours trying find a way to handcuff it. Snake escapes.

Combat News Reporter: Sees the snake 200 metres away. Writes an in-depth article in "Maple Leaf" on snakes. Minister of National Defence reads the article and states that "Canadian Forces are now better equipped to deal with snakes than they were in the Gulf War." Then he cuts the military budget another 50% and gives large pay increases to senior civilians.


No MP humour page would be complete without a couple of cartoons by Scotty. Sgt. Doug Scott (retired) was himself an MP and a talented cartoonist whose distinctive drawings appeared in Sentinel magazine for over 15 years.
Here are two classics.

SCOTTY1

SCOTTY2


DOOR


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